When tragedy strikes, it can be difficult to know what to say. This is especially true when you're faced with the blank white space of a sympathy card.
What do you write? What words can possibly convey your grief, sorrow, and heartache? What if you say something and accidentally make it worse?
Consider this your guide to condolence messages. You'll learn what they are, how to compose an appropriate one, and how to make them extra special for someone you love. They might be going through a terrible time, but it's possible to bring them comfort with just the right gesture.
What Is A Condolence Message?
First things first: What is a condolence message?
The word "condolence" comes from the Latin condoleo or "I have sympathy for you." It's made from the combination of con ("together") and doleo ("I hurt, I have pain, I am suffering").
In other words, the very term condolence means that you're empathizing with someone else's pain. It isn't just a grief that you're witnessing from afar. It's something that you're actively sharing with them.
You're probably most familiar with the condolence messages printed on sympathy cards. However, cards are far from the only ways to express your sorrow. You can also send emails, flowers, gifts, and handwritten letters. You can offer verbal condolences at funerals. You can include a condolence message when you name a star or donate to charity in someone else's name.
All in all, there are many ways to share your doleo with someone. The trick is to express it lovingly, compassionately, and respectfully.
How to Write a Condolence Message
Condolence messages aren't always easy to write, especially if you're trying to avoid cliches like "I'm sorry for your loss." It can be difficult to find the right words or strike the right balance between all of the complicated emotions that you're feeling. If you were also close with the deceased, your own grief might be clouding your thoughts, too.
The truth is that there are no magic words to ease someone's grief after a tragic loss. Once you realize that, however, you can stop aiming for perfection and create something real.
Here are just a few tips for writing a good condolence message:
Choose a Tone
Imagine that you're reading your sympathy card out loud. What does your voice sound like? Maybe it's formal and respectful, the kind of voice that you'd use with a coworker. Maybe it's more casual but also very earnest, the kind of voice that you use with a friend.
Either way, you can translate these voices to your condolence message. Just look at the difference in tone depending on the words that you use:
#1: My sincerest sympathies during this tragic time. Wishing you all the best.
#2: I'm so sorry, [Name]. I wish I could hug you right now. Call me if you need anything.
Which inflection is more appropriate for your own condolence message?
Personalize Your Message
There's nothing wrong with using a pre-written message for your condolences, especially if you're still grieving yourself and finding it hard to articulate your thoughts. However, if you're up to it, a few personal words can show that you really put care and compassion into your message.
If you have any favorite memories of the deceased, for example, you can talk about them in your note. You can recall the good times and promise to keep their memory alive.
Tread Carefully
Bereavement is different for everyone, and a common mistake when writing condolence messages is using the words that you would want to hear. Instead, try to put yourself in the other person's shoes and imagine what would bring them the most amount of comfort.
If they're religious, for example, a few words of scripture might touch their hearts. On the flip side, if you're religious and they're not, they aren't going to appreciate you evangelizing during a vulnerable time for them.
The same goes for messages trying to offer advice, be hopeful or optimistic, or otherwise do something different than standard gestures of sympathy. Only write these kinds of things if you're positive that the other person will receive them in the spirit that they're intended. Otherwise, play it safe.
How to Send a Condolence Message
As mentioned above, there are numerous ways that you can express your condolences. They range from the polite and the routine to the unconventional or the unusually thoughtful. Here are just a few ideas:
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Condolence card
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Personal or group email
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Phone call
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Text message
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Handwritten letter
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Verbal condolences
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Note included with a gift
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Message or inscription on a gift
These are just a few different ways to say "I'm sorry." There are others as well, but before you get too creative, make sure that you aren't overdoing it. A respectful approach is the cornerstone to any good condolence message.
What Do You Say in a Condolence Message?
A condolence message can be just as unique as the person who writes it. Your sympathies can be sweet, sentimental, empathetic, mournful, or respectful. They can even be gently hopeful if you think that the other person is in the right headspace to appreciate a bit of positivity.
Ultimately, it'll be up to you to decide what to write in your sympathy card. Some people like pre-written messages that perfectly express what they're trying to say. Others prefer to put together their own, personalized messages that speak to shared experiences or offer sympathy directly to the affected.
If you'd like a general idea of what to write in a condolence message, here are just a few passages that can help. Feel free to copy these outright or customize them with your own edits.
Here are some of the best condolence message we could think of:
1. An Expression of Love
My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time. Wishing you the best, and please know that you have my unwavering support in all things.
2. If You Knew the Deceased
Love and hugs. I'll never forget [Name] and the joy that they brought to the world. One of my most cherished moments with them was when [description of event]. I'll hold on to these moments forever.
3. A Personal Pledge of Support
[Name], I was so sorry to hear about your loss. I want you to know that I'm here for you. Whatever you need, just give me a call..
4. A More Generic Message for Co-Workers and Acquaintances
My deepest sympathies during this difficult time. You're in my thoughts
5. A Call for Courage
We're tested through sorrow, but even the darkest of nights will eventually break into dawn. I wish you all of the peace, love, comfort, and courage that you need to get through this challenging time.
6. Respectfully Yours
Please accept my heartfelt condolences for your loss. My heart goes out to you and your family during this tragic time.
7. When There Are No Words
It's hard to find words at a time like this. [Name], I'm so incredibly sorry. My heart is with you, and I hope you find solace.
8. A Religious Message
God has called one of His angels back home. We're grieving today, but there will come a time when we're all joyously reunited in heaven. May you find comfort in the Lord's love until the
9. An Honest and Heartfelt Message
I don't even know what to say. My heart is broken. Please call me if you ever need anything - a shoulder to cry on, a box of tissues, a candle to light. I'll be there.
10. When They'll Live On
[Name] might be gone, but they'll never be forgotten by those who loved them. I promise you that I'll always remember my time with them and help to keep their memory alive
Sending a Gift With Your Condolence Message
If you want to send more than just a card, consider a small, thoughtful gift that'll share your sympathy while still being appropriate for a time of mourning. You could include a memento, for example, or tuck your card into a bouquet of flowers.
Another option in bereavement gifts is something symbolic. Many people find it therapeutic to buy a star and name it after a loved one who has passed away. Not only will their name be memorialized forever in the star registry, but you'll be able to remember them forever with nothing more than a glance at the night sky. Their memory will always shine.
Does the Perfect Condolence Message Exist?
It's easy to get stressed about a condolence message. You know that the other person is going through a hard time, and you don't want to make it worse by writing something clumsy.
Ultimately, however, it's important to remember that grief and sympathy messages aren't about you. What really matters is the deceased. No words can bring them back, and trying is a wasted effort.
Instead, use your condolence message as a way to show love and support to whoever has been left behind in the wake of a tragedy. Your words can bring them comfort. If you're lucky, they might even spark hope, solace, remembrance, and joy.
Be kind in your condolence message. Be heartfelt. At the end of the day, your compassion will be remembered long after your exact words.
Inspiration: Condolence Messages categorized for you
10 Short Condolence Message
If you want to express your sympathies with a short but heartfelt message.
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My deepest sympathies go out to you during this difficult time. Remembering [name] with love and fond memories.
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Thinking of you with love and support during this time of loss. [Name] will be deeply missed.
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May memories of [name] bring you comfort and peace. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
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Sending love and comfort to you in the wake of [name]'s passing. [Name] will always hold a special place in our hearts.
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Holding you close in thoughts and prayers during this time. [Name] will be deeply missed and always remembered.
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May the love and support of those around you provide strength during this time of loss. [Name] will never be forgotten.
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Sending you love, peace, and comfort as you remember [name]. [Name]'s spirit will live on in the memories we hold dear.
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Thinking of you with love and understanding during this time of loss. [Name] will always be remembered.
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My heart goes out to you during this difficult time. May the memories of [name] bring you comfort and peace.
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Sending you love and support during this time of sorrow. [Name] will always be remembered and cherished.
10 Condolence Messages for Loss of Father
The best condolence messages for someone who has lost their father.
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A Dad's Love Endures Forever.
Our deepest sympathies are with you during this difficult time. May your father's love and memories continue to comfort and guide you. -
Forever in Our Hearts.
Your father may be gone, but his love and influence will live on forever in your heart. Sending love and condolences. -
Strength During Grief.
Holding you close in thoughts and prayers as you navigate through this heartache. May you find strength and comfort in the love of family and friends. -
A Gentle Hug from Afar.
Although we may be apart, know that our hearts are with you during this sorrowful time. Sending love and a gentle hug from afar. -
A Legacy of Love.
Your father leaves behind a legacy of love and devotion. May his memory bring you peace and comfort in the days ahead. -
A Guiding Light.
Your father was a source of light, love and guidance in your life. May his spirit continue to shine on you and bring you comfort during this difficult time. -
In Our Thoughts and Prayers.
We are deeply saddened to hear of your loss. Please know that you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers during this difficult time. -
A Hero in Our Hearts. Your father was a hero in your life and will always hold a special place in your heart. Sending love and condolences during this trying time.
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Holding You Close in Spirit.
We may not be there to hold your hand, but know that our hearts and thoughts are with you during this time of grief. Sending love and condolences. -
A True Blessing.
Your father was a true blessing to all who knew him. May his memory bring you peace and comfort in the days ahead.
10 Condolence Messages for Loss of Mother
The best condolence messages for someone who has lost their mother.
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With Deepest Sympathy Sending you love and strength during this difficult time. Your mother was a special person and will be deeply missed.
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In Loving Memory Your mother may be gone but the memories you shared will always be with you. Keeping you and your family in our thoughts and prayers.
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A Mother's Love Endures Though your mother is no longer here, her love and warmth will always be a comfort to you. Sending you love and condolences.
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Holding You Close We are here to support you in any way we can during this difficult time. Holding you close in our thoughts and prayers.
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A Radiant Soul Your mother was a radiant soul who touched the lives of so many. Sending you love and comfort during this time of loss.
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In Our Hearts Forever Your mother may have left this world, but she will always be in our hearts. Sending you love and condolences during this time.
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A Beacon of Love Your mother was a beacon of love and strength for all who knew her. Sending you love and comfort during this time of loss.
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A Gentle Touch Your mother had a gentle touch and a warm heart. She will be deeply missed but never forgotten. Sending you love and condolences.
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A Mother's Legacy Your mother leaves behind a legacy of love and kindness that will live on in the hearts of those she touched. Sending you love and comfort during this time.
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With Heartfelt Condolences Sending you heartfelt condolences during this time of loss. Your mother was a special person and will be deeply missed.
10 Condolence Messages for Friend
The best condolence messages for a friend that has lost someone they loved.
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A Heartfelt Sympathy My heart goes out to you in this time of loss. I cannot imagine the pain you must be feeling, but I am here for you, offering my love and support. Your loved one was a special person who brought so much joy and happiness into the world. They will be deeply missed.”
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A Shoulder to Lean On I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a loved one is never easy, but know that I am here for you, offering a shoulder to lean on and a listening ear. Your loved one will always be remembered for the love, joy, and laughter they brought into our lives.”
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A Message of Comfort In this time of loss, I want you to know that you are not alone. I am here to offer comfort and support, and to help you through this difficult time. Your loved one was a wonderful person who touched so many lives, and they will always be remembered with love.”
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A Promise of Support Please know that I am here for you, offering my love and support during this time of loss. Losing a loved one is never easy, but together we can make it through. Your loved one was a special person who brought so much joy and happiness into the world. They will always be remembered.”
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A Message of Love My heart aches for you in this time of loss. Losing a loved one is never easy, but I am here for you, offering love and support in any way I can. Your loved one was a shining light in this world, and their love and kindness will always be remembered.”
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A Note of Comfort I am sending you love and comfort in this time of loss. Losing a loved one is never easy, but please know that you are not alone. Your loved one was a wonderful person who brought so much joy and happiness into the world, and they will always be remembered with love.”
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A Memory of Love My heart goes out to you in this time of loss. Your loved one was a special person who brought so much love, joy, and laughter into this world. They will always be remembered and treasured in our hearts. I am here for you, offering my love and support during this difficult time.”
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A Message of Strength In this time of loss, I want you to know that you are strong and capable of making it through this difficult time. Losing a loved one is never easy, but I am here for you, offering my love and support. Your loved one was a shining example of love, kindness, and compassion, and they will always be remembered with fondness.”
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A Message of Hope I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a loved one is never easy, but I want you to know that hope and love will carry you through this difficult time. Your loved one was a special person who brought so much joy and happiness into this world, and they will always be remembered and cherished.
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A Message of Remembrance In this time of loss, I want you to know that your loved one will always be remembered for the love, joy, and laughter they brought into our lives. Losing a loved one is never easy, but I am here for you, offering love and support as you navigate this difficult time. Your loved one will always be remembered with fondness and love.”
10 Rest in Peace Condolence Messages
The best rest heartfelt and sympathetic rest in peace messages.
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Rest in Peace Wishing peace and comfort to you and your loved ones during this difficult time. Your loved one has now found eternal rest and peace, and may they forever be remembered with love and fondness.
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In Loving Memory In loving memory of your loved one who has now found eternal rest. May the memories of their life bring you comfort and peace during this difficult time.
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With heartfelt sympathy, I send my deepest condolences for the loss of your loved one. May they now rest in peace and bring comfort to those who loved them.
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Eternal Rest Sending love and light to you during this difficult time. Your loved one is now at eternal rest, may they find peace and comfort in the arms of the angels
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With Love and Sympathy With love and sympathy, I send my condolences for the loss of your loved one. May they rest in peace and bring comfort to your heart.
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Memories of Love May the memories of your loved one bring you comfort and peace during this difficult time. They are now at rest, in a place of love and happiness.
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A Promise of Peace Please know that you and your loved one are in my thoughts and prayers. Your loved one is now at rest, in a place of peace and love, and they will always be remembered.
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A Message of Love Sending love and light to you and your loved ones during this difficult time. Your loved one is now at rest, in a place of love and peace, and they will always be remembered with love and fondness.
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A Token of Sympathy Please accept this message as a token of my sympathy and support during this difficult time. Your loved one is now at rest, in a place of peace and love.
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A Message of Comfort With love and comfort, I send my condolences for the loss of your loved one. May they now rest in peace, surrounded by love and happiness.
Heartfelt Sympathy
10 Christian Condolence Messages (Religious)
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God's Grace and Peace May God's grace and peace surround you during this difficult time. Your loved one is now in the arms of our Lord and Saviour, where they have found eternal rest and peace.
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In God's Loving Arms In God's loving arms, your loved one has now found eternal rest. May you find comfort in the knowledge that they are in a better place, surrounded by God's love and grace.
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A Message of Hope Please know that your loved one is now at peace and surrounded by God's love. May the hope and promises of the Bible bring you comfort during this difficult time.
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God's Promises May the promises of God bring you comfort during this difficult time. Your loved one is now in the arms of the Lord, where they have found eternal peace and rest.
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A Blessing of Peace With love and comfort, I send my condolences. Your loved one is now at rest in the arms of our Lord, where they have found a blessing of peace and love.
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A Message of Faith With faith and love, I send my condolences. Your loved one is now at peace, in the arms of the Lord, where they have found eternal rest and happiness.
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A Token of Sympathy Please accept this message as a token of my sympathy and support during this difficult time. Your loved one is now in the arms of our Lord, where they have found eternal peace and rest.
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In His Care In the care of our Lord, your loved one has now found eternal peace and rest. May you find comfort in the knowledge that they are now in a better place, surrounded by God's love and grace.
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A Message of Love With love and support, I send my condolences. Your loved one is now at rest, in the arms of our Lord, where they have found a place of peace and love.
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A Promise of Heaven Please know that your loved one is now in heaven, where they have found eternal rest and peace. May the promises of God bring you comfort during this difficult time.
10 Condolence Messages For Coworker
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A Thoughtful Embrace Dear [coworker's name], please accept my sincerest condolences on your loss. I am here for you, always, to offer a listening ear, a comforting hug, and any support you may need.
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Words of Comfort I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time. May you find comfort in the memories you have shared with your loved one.
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In Sympathy Please accept my heartfelt sympathy on the passing of your [loved one]. I am here for you, [coworker's name], in any way you need. May the love of those around you and the memories of your loved one help to ease your pain.
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Sending Love Sending love and strength to you during this challenging time, [coworker's name]. You and your loved one are in my thoughts and prayers.
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With Understanding I understand how difficult this must be for you, [coworker's name]. Please know that I am here for you and that I care. May you find peace and comfort in the days ahead.
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I’m here for you I am here for you, [coworker's name], with a shoulder to lean on and an open heart. May you find comfort in the love of your family and friends during this difficult time.
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Wishing You Strength Wishing you strength and peace during this difficult time, [coworker's name]. You and your loved one are in my thoughts and prayers.
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With Heartfelt Condolences With heartfelt condolences on the passing of your loved one. Please know that I am here for you, [coworker's name], to offer support and comfort in any way you need.
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Sending Hugs Sending you hugs and love, [coworker's name]. I am here for you, always, to offer a listening ear and a comforting embrace during this difficult time.
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In Support Please know that I am here for you, [coworker's name], in support and sympathy. May the love of those around you and the memories of your loved one bring you comfort and peace.
10 Thank You Condolence Messages
How to say thank you for receiving a condolence message from someone.
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Gratitude and Appreciation Thank you so much for your kind words and support during this difficult time. Your thoughtfulness means the world to us.
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A ray of comfort Your condolence message brought a ray of comfort during a dark time. Thank you for your kindness and understanding.
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Your support means everything We are grateful for your outpouring of love and support. Your kind words have helped us get through this difficult time. Thank you.
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Uplifted by your kindness We are so grateful for the love and support we've received. Your condolence message has uplifted us during this time. Thank you.
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Heartfelt thanks From the bottom of our hearts, we thank you for your thoughtfulness and kindness during this trying time. Your condolence message means everything.
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A source of strength Your words of comfort and support have been a source of strength during this difficult time. Thank you for being there for us.
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Like a hug Your condolence message was like a much-needed hug. Thank you for your kindness and understanding.
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Overwhelmed We are truly overwhelmed by your generosity and kindness. Your condolence message has touched our hearts and provided us with comfort. Thank you.
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Your compassion is invaluable Your compassion and support are invaluable during this time. We thank you for your condolence message and for being there for us.
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Forever grateful We will forever be grateful for your kindness and understanding. Your condolence message has given us hope and comfort. Thank you.